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It's Just the House Settling

by Andrew Dempsen

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1.
Family Tree 03:48
I’ve been falling slow like a cold, dead leaf From these withered limbs of this family tree I’ve been falling slow to the ground beneath I talk too much, but talk is cheap When you’re buying time and you pay for sleep And sleep is hard to get believe me Was it Christmas or was it halloween When I lost my head or I lost my feet Or they got kicked out from under me Am I a lost cause ‘Cause I feel lost ‘cause I feel worthless, and I feel washed up And I feel busted, and I feel heavy, And I’m so sorry, please forgive me
2.
We push our bikes to the top of the hill And we pedal down just as fast as we can And we built a ramp out of plywood and cans And we soar through the air for a split-second then We crash in the street and we skin up our knees But we just let them bleed and we do it again You’re my closest friends I’m driving home with you after school and we stop to get coffee cause that’s just what we do. And we talk until we don’t know what to say. But we know it’s okay, tomorrow will be them same. But the past few years have been harder than most Harder I think, because we were so close I don’t know why but I think it’s good Even though time doesn’t heal, at least not like it should, And we all grew up bent, and twisted, and sad But time soothes over scars, so they don’t seem so bad And when I see their smiles and they look so much like you And I hear them laugh, I start laughing too You’re my closet friends
3.
Sitting by the window with my face against the pane Counting with my sister the spaces in between The clapping of the thunder to see how far away The storm is And my mother and my father are on the telephone With the power company to get the lights turned on And I’m silently praying that they will stay off ‘Cause the darkness covers all of the things that we are not [c] But don’t say a word. Don’t make a sound. Just lie very still. It’s just the house settling down. Don’t say a word. Don’t make a sound. Just lie very still it’s just the house settling down. My mother has been crying almost every single day About the dishes in the kitchen and the peeling of the paint And it’s been getting worse since my brother moved away He moved away And my father takes his hammer and throws it to the lawn While the broken piece of stairway lies guilty in my palm And the look in his eyes as he yells at me to go Wounds me so much deeper than he will ever know He’ll never know
4.
When the sun finally rose, the ground was white with snow Covered the houses and the roads, and where the garden used to grow. I felt tears in my eyes, but I tried to disguise them. I hate goodbyes, in fact, I despise them. When the sun grew high, the driveway turned to mud Holding your tire tracks open like a cut. I stare at the paint paint, chipping away, and swear it looks different. I stare at the paint, chipping away, and swear it looks different than before. The grass is much greener. It’s finally spring. The rain hasn’t stopped here in about a week. I’m growing up. I wish you could see. How tall I’ve become, and are you proud of me. Things are okay here. It’s hard to explain. Feels a little heavier, but not much else has changed.
5.
Can you please be quiet, and listen for a minute Even if you think I'm wrong can you respect my opinion Clipped wings, while safe, are so very hard to live with and you Clipped my wings so many times and it took the pain away but it was my pain to feel it took the pain away now i don't know how to heal right Can you please calm down I'm not trying to hurt your feelings it's just I have some of my own and they're stacked to the ceiling from years of denial pretending I was healing Getting drunk with a smile while the facade was peeling away
6.
Thanksgiving 04:40
I think I saw a ghost last night. He was naked in the light cast by the moon. Got up from the bed, walked across the room. Think it was right around thanksgiving that we let the devil right into the house, let him stay awhile, crashing on the couch And it started to erode me, God, I've never felt more lonely in my life Than in somebody's arms, Praying for the light. And I don't know what happened Think I panicked and abandoned What I knew was gonna save my soul. Proved the devil right. Lapsing in and out of reason having pillow talk with demons through the night, praying for the dawn, hoping it comes soon Tell me I'm still worth it, that I haven't brought a curse upon this house, a curse upon my head I need to hear your voice, Cause all Feel is this Heaviness inside.
7.
When I am alone, I can hear the thoughts escape my head Falling down like snow, landing on the blankets of my bed I’m afraid of the dark. Just like I’m a kid again I hide my head. Afraid of my heart and just how dark it’s been. When I am alone, I can finally let my secrets out That I’ve held on so long, I’ve built them little houses on my tongue. I can finally let them run. Finally let them see the morning sun Like when I was young. But Abba can you see what I’ve become And can it be undone. Oh, Please tell me this can be undone Abba I’ve been scared. Piling up the chairs to bar the door. But I can hear you there. Knock ever so softly like before, But I lie still and cold. Hold my breath and wait for you to go. But you never go. Your shadow never leaves the crack beneath the door. Morning is coming. Ready or not. Morning is coming, if you’re heavy or not. Morning is coming. Ready or not. Morning is coming. Ready or not, heavy or not. Morning is coming. Open your eyes, throw up the blinds, let in the light.
8.
Everything’s going to change. When I wake up will the world be the same. When I leave this house where I stayed When I leave this room and the bed where I laid Will somebody else take my place Move in with boxes to fill up the space I imagine that I have a ghost That lives everywhere that I once did I wonder where he’d haunt the most I wonder what house I’d find him in Everything’s going to change, I can’t keep my shadow From trying to escape. Will a needle and thread make him stay If you sew him on I will not look away But darling, I’m loosing my mind here. Will I find out when I’m older, that I should have run from the setting sun, That I should have run from the setting sun The setting sun The setting sun And when did we get so Serious.
9.
Go Back 05:10
It is cold and crisp in the autumn sun And I breath in deep just like I’ve always done And it sends a shock through my summer lungs They expand and contract like they’ve just begun Breathing. Breathing. And I see the world through my new headphones As the trees roll by my open window And my friend’s are talking I don’t listen though I Just keep breathing. Breathing. And all I wanted was to go back to where I started. All I wanted was to go back to where I started. My heart is full. I can hear it crack. As the shadows form in the blades of grass And we chase them till we both collapse Beneath the trees lying on our backs Just breathing. Breathing. The fire is dying. It’s caving in And the sparks are flying. They dance and spin. High above us, and then blend in To the sky, And I know, When tomorrow comes They won’t know my name from anyone’s But I know your face like a photograph Cause the fire died Like a camera flash. And All I wanted was to go back to where I started But all things. All things. All things. All things. All things. All beautiful things must end. But all I wanted was to go back to where I started
10.
11.
I don't know how to figure this out trial and error are my conscience now I don't know where to place my steps my safety net's gone I don't know where I fit I swear to God that I'm not so sure I still believe in him But there was a time I'd put it all on the line to say I believed in him I don't know how to dispel these doubts My head runs in circles around your house I don't know who to trust with my truth I'm weary of answers that have nothing to do With what I was asking I swear to God that I'm not so sure I still believe in him And it keeps me awake to find I'm afraid I might not believe again I don't know how to dispel these doubts they're all that I have to worry about What if it all means nothing at all and I'm just a being existing for the sake of being and maybe I'm wrong but what if I'm not do you know what that means to me I could be wrong, but what if I'm not do you know what that means tell me you love me tell me you saw it all tell me you love me and the walls I build are not that strong after all
12.
13.

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Part Three of a trilogy of albums, "Just the House" is a collection of folk songs

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released August 4, 2017

All Songs written, performed and recorded by Andrew Dempsen 2017

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Andrew Dempsen Spokane, Washington

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