It's Just the House Settling

by Andrew Dempsen

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Part Three of a trilogy of albums, "Just the House" is a collection of folk songs

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released August 4, 2017

All Songs written, performed and recorded by Andrew Dempsen 2017

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Andrew Dempsen Spokane, Washington

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Track Name: Family Tree
I’ve been falling slow like a cold, dead leaf
From these withered limbs of this family tree
I’ve been falling slow to the ground beneath

I talk too much, but talk is cheap
When you’re buying time and you pay for sleep
And sleep is hard to get believe me

Was it Christmas or was it halloween
When I lost my head or I lost my feet
Or they got kicked out from under me

Am I a lost cause
‘Cause I feel lost ‘cause
I feel worthless, and I feel washed up
And I feel busted, and I feel heavy,
And I’m so sorry, please forgive me
Track Name: Closest Friends
We push our bikes to the top of the hill
And we pedal down just as fast as we can
And we built a ramp out of plywood and cans
And we soar through the air for a split-second then
We crash in the street and we skin up our knees
But we just let them bleed and we do it again

You’re my closest friends

I’m driving home with you after school and we stop to get coffee cause that’s just what we do. And we talk until we don’t know what to say. But we know it’s okay, tomorrow will be them same.
But the past few years have been harder than most
Harder I think, because we were so close
I don’t know why but I think it’s good
Even though time doesn’t heal, at least not like it should,
And we all grew up bent, and twisted, and sad
But time soothes over scars, so they don’t seem so bad
And when I see their smiles and they look so much like you
And I hear them laugh, I start laughing too

You’re my closet friends
Track Name: The Storm (The things that we are not)
Sitting by the window with my face against the pane
Counting with my sister the spaces in between
The clapping of the thunder to see how far away
The storm is

And my mother and my father are on the telephone
With the power company to get the lights turned on
And I’m silently praying that they will stay off
‘Cause the darkness covers all of the things that we are not

[c]
But don’t say a word. Don’t make a sound. Just lie very still. It’s just the house settling down.
Don’t say a word. Don’t make a sound. Just lie very still it’s just the house settling down.

My mother has been crying almost every single day
About the dishes in the kitchen and the peeling of the paint
And it’s been getting worse since my brother moved away
He moved away

And my father takes his hammer and throws it to the lawn
While the broken piece of stairway lies guilty in my palm
And the look in his eyes as he yells at me to go
Wounds me so much deeper than he will ever know
He’ll never know
Track Name: Chipping Paint
When the sun finally rose, the ground was white with snow
Covered the houses and the roads, and where the garden used to grow.
I felt tears in my eyes, but I tried to disguise them. I hate goodbyes, in fact, I despise them.

When the sun grew high, the driveway turned to mud
Holding your tire tracks open like a cut.

I stare at the paint paint, chipping away, and swear it looks different.
I stare at the paint, chipping away, and swear it looks different than before.

The grass is much greener. It’s finally spring. The rain hasn’t stopped here in about a week.
I’m growing up. I wish you could see. How tall I’ve become, and are you proud of me.
Things are okay here. It’s hard to explain. Feels a little heavier, but not much else has changed.
Track Name: Clipped Wings
Can you please be quiet, and listen for a minute
Even if you think I'm wrong can you respect my opinion
Clipped wings, while safe, are so very hard to live with and you
Clipped my wings so many times

and it took the pain away
but it was my pain to feel
it took the pain away
now i don't know how to heal right

Can you please calm down
I'm not trying to hurt your feelings
it's just I have some of my own
and they're stacked to the ceiling
from years of denial pretending I was healing
Getting drunk with a smile
while the facade was peeling away
Track Name: Thanksgiving
I think I saw a ghost last night. He was naked in the light cast by the moon. Got up from the bed, walked across the room.
Think it was right around thanksgiving that we let the devil right into the house, let him stay awhile, crashing on the couch
And it started to erode me, God, I've never felt more lonely in my life
Than in somebody's arms, Praying for the light.

And I don't know what happened
Think I panicked and abandoned
What I knew was gonna save my soul.
Proved the devil right.

Lapsing in and out of reason having pillow talk with demons
through the night, praying for the dawn, hoping it comes soon

Tell me I'm still worth it, that I haven't brought a curse upon this house, a curse upon my head
I need to hear your voice,
Cause all Feel is this
Heaviness inside.
Track Name: The Crack Beneath The Door
When I am alone, I can hear the thoughts escape my head
Falling down like snow, landing on the blankets of my bed
I’m afraid of the dark. Just like I’m a kid again I hide my head.
Afraid of my heart and just how dark it’s been.

When I am alone, I can finally let my secrets out
That I’ve held on so long,
I’ve built them little houses on my tongue.
I can finally let them run. Finally let them see the morning sun
Like when I was young.
But Abba can you see what I’ve become
And can it be undone. Oh, Please tell me this can be undone

Abba I’ve been scared. Piling up the chairs to bar the door.
But I can hear you there. Knock ever so softly like before,
But I lie still and cold. Hold my breath and wait for you to go.
But you never go. Your shadow never leaves the crack beneath the door.

Morning is coming. Ready or not.
Morning is coming, if you’re heavy or not.
Morning is coming. Ready or not.
Morning is coming. Ready or not, heavy or not.
Morning is coming. Open your eyes, throw up the blinds, let in the light.
Track Name: If I had a Ghost (Pan's Shadow)
Everything’s going to change. When I wake up will the world be the same. When I leave this house where I stayed
When I leave this room and the bed where I laid
Will somebody else take my place
Move in with boxes to fill up the space

I imagine that I have a ghost
That lives everywhere that I once did
I wonder where he’d haunt the most
I wonder what house I’d find him in

Everything’s going to change, I can’t keep my shadow
From trying to escape. Will a needle and thread make him stay
If you sew him on I will not look away

But darling, I’m loosing my mind here. Will I find out when I’m older, that I should have run from the setting sun,
That I should have run from the setting sun
The setting sun
The setting sun
And when did we get so
Serious.
Track Name: Go Back
It is cold and crisp in the autumn sun
And I breath in deep just like I’ve always done
And it sends a shock through my summer lungs
They expand and contract like they’ve just begun

Breathing. Breathing.

And I see the world through my new headphones
As the trees roll by my open window
And my friend’s are talking I don’t listen though

I Just keep breathing. Breathing.

And all I wanted was to go back to where I started.
All I wanted was to go back to where I started.

My heart is full. I can hear it crack.
As the shadows form in the blades of grass
And we chase them till we both collapse
Beneath the trees lying on our backs

Just breathing. Breathing.

The fire is dying. It’s caving in
And the sparks are flying. They dance and spin.
High above us, and then blend in
To the sky, And I know,
When tomorrow comes
They won’t know my name from anyone’s
But I know your face like a photograph
Cause the fire died Like a camera flash.

And All I wanted was to go back to where I started

But all things.
All things. All things.
All things. All things.
All beautiful things must end.

But all I wanted was to go back to where I started
Track Name: Trial and Error
I don't know how to figure this out
trial and error are my conscience now
I don't know where to place my steps
my safety net's gone
I don't know where I fit

I swear to God that I'm not so sure I still believe in him
But there was a time I'd put it all on the line to say I believed in him

I don't know how to dispel these doubts
My head runs in circles around your house
I don't know who to trust with my truth
I'm weary of answers that have nothing to do
With what I was asking

I swear to God that I'm not so sure I still believe in him
And it keeps me awake to find I'm afraid I might not believe again

I don't know how to dispel these doubts
they're all that I have to worry about

What if it all means nothing at all and I'm just a being
existing for the sake of being
and maybe I'm wrong but what if I'm not do you know what that means to me
I could be wrong, but what if I'm not do you know what that means

tell me you love me
tell me you saw it all
tell me you love me
and the walls I build are not that strong
after all